but I don't want my profile to get closed...

Okay, so it’s been a while and it’s time to let the crazy out.  Boy you are in for a treat.  J

 

But first, let me tell you a little about what I have been up to the past couple months at my internship.  I’m in a listy mood:

Cleaning art in the gallery

Oh, I climbed scaffolding to see a sculpture be laser cleaned.  And by “climbed scaffolding”, I don’t mean a ladder.  No no, there was no ladder.  We had to climb the side of the whole operation.

The other an intern and I have been working on a few projects:  we are refurbishing a frame and painting from the 1940’s (painting by Piero Sansalvadore); we fixed and cleaned a windmill whirligig from the 1800’s; we polished and coated some silver from around 1700; and I am polishing an apple chalice from the 1500’s.  Super cool!

 

But now onto the fun stuff.  The following is the randomness that is Diana’s brain.  It’s been building up for some time now so there are lots of things about dreams and things that have happened over the past few months.  That’s right, I’ve been taking notes on myself.  Mu hahahaha!

 

• Are chain letter curses consecutive or concurrent?  I hope concurrent otherwise my curses will last the rest of my life.
• Is anyone else bothered by a baby driving in a BP commercial?
• I wish I was a child prodigy
• My apartment smells like turpentine and popcorn.
• Is it still kidnapping if the victim is an adult?
• Is it still abduction if the captor isn’t an alien?
• I wish I still played the flute.
• I believe that everyone has a “crazy valve” that has to be released from time to time otherwise the pressure gets too strong and the crazy explodes.  Mine is at a slow leak all the time to control the pressure.
• I had a dream in Spanish a while ago.
• One of my guy friends told me that the key to good dating is to be yourself.  But I think it is being myself that is preventing the dates. Hmmm.
• For the past two days I couldn’t figure out why my room was so hot.  Then I realized my window was closed.
• I have no clue what I am doing with my life.
• A couple nights ago my downstairs neighbor was drunkenly screaming “I love juice!”  Either that or “I love Jews!”
• So far I have fallen down the stairs twice this week.   Not a personal record yet.
• Why am I having so many Spanish dreams?  I don’t understand them.  I bet they are talking about me.
• My building smells like vinegar and bacon?
• Who wants to give me money to buy a villa in Tuscany?... I’ll let you stay over for free.
• Ok… we can share the villa.
• Fine, you live there and I’ll visit…365 days a year.
• My nose is whistling
• Paul Schaffer is an alien.
• My chair likes to flip out from under me.
• I wanna be a police detective.  Raise your hand if you think I will get shot on the first day.  Ok, now raise your hand if you think I’d accidentally shoot myself on the first day.  Stop raising your hands, meanie.
• I also had a dream that my ceiling was bleeding.
• My toe keeps seizing. I think it’s sick.
• Is it bad luck if you cross the black cat’s path?
• I had a dream that I was a brilliant tap dancer.  When I woke up I was disappointed that I don’t know how to tap.
• I love Nigella Feast on the Food Network.
• Zombie dreams are scary.
• The moon kept me up last night.
• Do you ever have those days where you look at yourself in the mirror and just think, “Really?”
• I like to play this new game I invented called Degrees to Kiefer.  It’s like the Kevin Bacon one but cooler.  I am getting pretty good at it too.
• If ever I make it onto Hell’s Kitchen, I’m fairly certain my cooking “skills” would make Gordon Ramsey’s head explode or put him in catatonic shock.
• Batman is the greatest hero ever cuz he doesn’t even need super powers to get the job done.
• Why is it that nights before I have to wake up early I can’t seem to fall asleep before 3am?
• Dating is like interviewing for a job.  Apparently I’m not qualified.
• The person in the mirror is staring back at me.
• If people want to examine the inner workings of my mind, sadly a good place to start is to carefully consider the elements on my MySpace.
• I think my dream dinner party of fictional characters would include Jack Bauer, Chandler Bing, Indiana Jones, John McClane, and Willy Wonka…. Mostly because I’d love to sit back and see what they have to discuss with each other.
• I am a walking conundrum.
• The fan in my bedroom reminds me of Karl Marx.
• Don’t worry.  Even I don’t’ know what that means.
• People watching is a useful skill.  Eavesdropping is a bad habit.  Understanding that, I sometimes try to read the lips of the people in the apartment building next to me.  I don’t consider it eavesdropping.  I think of it as keen people watching.
• All this has taught me is I don’t know how to read lips.
• Spiders eat people.  Don’t deny it.
• Sometimes I feel that my brain is like a comedy routine of bad one-liners.
• Question: Did the falcon caw at midnight?
• Answer: No.  Falcons don’t caw.
• A cement truck tried to kill me yesterday.  I’m still not certain if I am alive.
• Do trophy wives have to stand still?...on a mantle?
• The valve broke.
  

.... but then people will think I'm a magician.

Yes, I am still alive. I should be working on a HUGE presentation all weekend, but I needed a break.

Last night I couldn't fall asleep, so I watched "Reign of Fire".... remember the arms and tattoos, CassCass?  Yeah.

After that I watched 2 hours of "Intervention".  (That is an amazing show.)

During which there was a male enhancement commercials.  Here are the 2 things I learned:
    1. People were interviewing on the street about how the drug worked.  Apparently every man in that area has a  small dangle.
    2. I don't trust the doctor of the commercial because of his ear lobes.

No joke.  Is it bad that I judge him on his ear lobes? And he isn't the only person I do that too.  I also judge people on their eyelids.  And it's not that I am thinking, "Ew, I'm not attracted to that!"  It has nothing to do with physical attraction.  Those two physical attributes tell me if they are trustworthy, in my mind. 

Why, when you need to know the time you point to your watch, but when you need to know where the bathroom is you don't point to your crotch?

I had a random thought about mustard, but now I've forgotten it.

To all the men out there: it's YOU who doesn't say what you mean / want.  Stop blaming the women.

I had an interesting phone call the other day, but I can't go into details.  Just know that I still have interesting convos.

I can't remember if I pondered this on here already, but do you think deaf people have inner dialogues?  I mean, most of my conversations are with myself, so I think I would be very lonely if I didn't have that ability.  And I know that sounds mean.  But I swear I really want to know, if someone is born deaf, are they capable of having an inner dialogue since they have never heard a vocal dialogue.  How do they know the human voice?  Or do they just imagine the situation?

I have been daydreaming way too much. 

Rip Torn should be Zeus in a biopic.

Today whilst working on the presentation I was listening to the radio.  A Beastie Boys song came on... "Intergalactic Planetary".  So I turned the radio off.  I hate them.  They were bad when they first were popular (I still don't get that) and they are bad now.  About 20 minutes later I remembered I needed music.   Turned on the radio.  Another Beastie Boys song!  "Brass Monkey"  Good lord!  What is it with Milwaukee and bad music?  I am afraid to turn it back on.  I think it is iPod time.

I suppose I should get back to homework.  And food.  Mmmmm, pasta... even if it is microwave.  See ya.

Oh, and a zombie was outside my window last night.  Bye!

Peace!
DMJ